Maybe by Ivesia19

Rating: PG
Genres: Drama
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 7
Published: 17/09/2007
Last Updated: 17/09/2007
Status: Completed

Lavender Brown had known Hermione Granger for seven years. They weren’t best friends. She wasn’t
part of the infamous trio; there wasn’t a trio anymore. Lavender could think of a hundred people
that would be better at this than her, but at that moment, she was all Hermione had. Warning:
Character Death/ AU




1. Maybe
--------

Maybe

Authors Note: This story is a companion piece to “Forever”, which is not posted on Portkey
because it is not in accordance with all of their guidelines. If you would like to read “Forever”
you may go here http://www.fanfiction.net/u/35566/ or check it out on my livejournal (http://ivesia19.livejournal.com/). You do not need to read
“Forever” to appreciate this story, in fact, this takes place before “Forever”.

Summary: Lavender Brown had known Hermione Granger for seven years. They weren’t best friends.
She wasn’t part of the infamous trio; there wasn’t a trio anymore. Lavender could think of a
hundred people that would be better at this than her, but at that moment, she was all Hermione had.
Warning: Character Death/ AU

* * *

By now everyone had heard the story. Even those people who weren’t there at the Battle of
Hogwarts were well informed about what went on during the final fight.

It had been four days since that afternoon on the grounds of Hogwarts. The sky had been black
and the lake was uncharacteristically rough. Harsh winds had blown mist from the lake onto the
fighting masses. The winds carried the screams and fed the chaos.

Even after four days Lavender Brown could remember everything. When she closed her eyes, when
she dreamed at night, Lavender could see it all over again.

Before the actual fighting, Lavender could remember that everyone was strangely exhilarated.
Finally, after months of living in submission and heeding Snape’s every desire, the students could
fight back. Although it was only a couple of days since, Lavender could hardly believe that she was
ever so stupid to think that war was ever more than just destruction.

They had all been so eager to help; so eager to follow him. While Lavender had difficulty
dealing with all that she had seen and done, she knew that it had to be done – for the greater
good. No, Lavender didn’t regret following Harry Potter, taking up his cause, fighting his fight
with him.

In a way, she was proud of herself. She was part of history. Lavender could actually picture
herself, many years from now, telling her grandchildren how she helped Harry Potter defeat Lord
Voldemort.

Of course, Lavender didn’t really have much to do with the actual demise of Voldemort, at most
she could claim that she stunned a Death Eater, and managed to stay alive.

After Harry had spoken to them all at Hogwarts, Lavender had joined a makeshift group of fellow
7th years. Parvati Patil, her best friend, came along as well. Lavender knew that
Parvati had the same fear coursing through her veins, though neither girl said anything about it.
They were Gryffindors after all.

Lavender watched as her classmates fought against the Death Eaters, grown men who thought
nothing of killing mere children. Fellow DA members rallied together, using the methods that Harry
had taught them personally years prior.

Once she was actually in the midst of the battle Lavender grew afraid. She didn’t know what to
do. Never before had she been faced with such circumstances. The closest she ever got to a real
attack was when Ron tried to kiss her the first time.

Despite her lack of previous experience, when Lavender saw a Death Eater lift his wand in her
direction she acted on pure instinct and stunned him. At her side Parvati gave a triumphant yelp,
but her cry was stifled to soon. When Lavender turned to see why her best friend had made such a
noise she was greeted with only the glassy look of dead eyes.

No, Lavender had not known what war truly meant when she agreed to help. Even after all the
stories she had heard from the first reign of Voldemort, she never thought she would actually see
her friends die before her eyes.

Lavender was lucky to live through the battle. In fact, she hardly had any injuries, an even
greater miracle. The problem with surviving, Lavender had learned, was dealing with the memories of
those who didn’t make it through. And there certainly were many of them.

* * *

The last funeral Lavender could remember going to was Professor Dumbledore’s. While at the time
she had thought that the Headmaster’s funeral had been the most ornate she had ever been to,
Lavender now knew that she had to take back her words.

Unlike Dumbledore’s funeral, this funeral was held in the Great Hall of Hogwarts. Of course,
this wasn’t actually a funeral at all. Well, it was, but it was referred to as a *memorial*.
Everyone agreed that this sounded more respectful.

Despite the name, a well meaning euphemism, it was a funeral, so Lavender wore her most somber
black robes and cut back on her usual makeup routine. Bright colors were hardly appropriate for
such a sober event. She pulled her hair back in a neat plait and took the hot pink nail polish off
of her fingernails.

The Great Hall was arranged quite differently than its usual appearance. Instead of the four
long house tables, rows and rows of dark mahogany chairs were set up. The teachers table was also
missing, although the Headmaster’s podium still stood in its place. To the left of the podium lay
the coffin. It was made of a dark wood that had been polished to a gleam.

Lavender could see that it was open; the lid was propped up showing the dark red satin of the
underside.

She had always hated this part of funerals. The wake was often worse than the actual service.
Lavender moved to the back of the line that had formed along the wall of the Great Hall.

Due to the fact that Lavender had arrived at the funeral rather late, most of the people had
already been through the condolence line and were sitting down in the rows of seats. She had done
this on purpose. She didn’t want to deal with more of this than she had to.

The line moved rather quickly. With each step, the coffin came into sharper focus. The first
person that Lavender met was Ginny Weasley.

Her normally flawless face was streaked with tears. “Oh, Lavender!” Ginny sobbed as she flung
herself into Lavender’s arms. “It’s just so terrible. So terrible.” Her words were jumbled by the
frantic tears. “I never imagined – Thank you for coming. It would have meant so much to him!”

Lavender awkwardly patted Ginny on the back. She didn’t know if Harry would really have actually
cared if she attended this or not, but nevertheless she agreed with Ginny. “Of course I came. It
was Harry.”

Ginny nodded. “Harry” she managed to squeeze out before another sob escaped. Lavender pulled
herself from Ginny’s embrace and moved on down the line.

Mrs. Weasley was next and her face was just as wet as her daughter’s. Also like her daughter,
Mrs. Weasley immediately pulled Lavender into a tight hug. “It was so kind of you to come, dear.
It’s just so wonderful that all of you came out to honor him.”

Lavender smiled slightly and lowered her eyes. She didn’t really know how to respond.

“He did so much for us all. He was a hero. Harry would have been so happy to see you here.”

Lavender was beginning to wonder if the Weasley’s really knew much about Harry’s life. She
didn’t really think that Harry had liked her that much when he was alive. Sure, they were
classmates; they talked, but no one could say that they were friends.

Lavender gently untangled herself from Mrs. Weasley and moved on to the next person, Ron. Ever
since their disastrous ‘relationship’ in their sixth year, Lavender felt a sort of unease around
Ron. They were never anything special; she knew that he didn’t really like her all that much. At
most, their relationship was just a ploy of Ron’s, but still she had felt for him.

Ron and Lavender stared at one another. Really, this was no time for her own problems. “I’m
sorry, Ron” Lavender said.

Ron’s face was the shade of red that he got when he was really embarrassed, or mad, or excited,
but she knew that this was different. Instead of the clean blush of red that usually occupied his
face, sporadic splotches covered him. His eyes were swollen. He wasn’t crying now, but it was
obvious that he had been. His gaze, which bore into her, no longer held the innocent humor that it
always had. Instead it had been replaced by sadness, grief, and guilt.

“I’m sorry.” Lavender repeated. Really, she knew that her words weren’t all that original, but
what else was she supposed to say?

He simply nodded. “Thank you.” Ron’s voice was wavering and choked. Before she could think of
something else to say, Ron had turned his attention to the next person in line, accepting their
sympathy with the same slumped shoulders and shaking hands.

Standing directly next to the coffin was Harry’s last mourner. She had grown thin in the time
that had elapsed since Lavender had last seen her, and this was saying a lot since only four days
before she had been waif looking. She was wearing a simple black dress instead of robes. Her hair
was down, bushier than Lavender had seen it in a long time. It was hiding most of her face, and
Lavender surmised that this was exactly what she had wanted. A simple gold chain hung around her
neck. It disappeared into the neckline of her dress, the dark material hiding the charm hanging at
the end.

“Hermione,” Lavender said cautiously. Unlike the Weasley’s, Hermione did not look at her. In
fact, her gaze never wavered from the coffin. Lavender tried again. “Hermione, I’m so sorry.”

Nothing.

She didn’t know what to do. Lavender stepped closer to her once-classmate. She wrapped her arms
around her. “I’m so sorry.” She said again.

Hermione didn’t move. Lavender didn’t know what she was expecting. Did she really think that a
hug would cause a major breakthrough? Everyone knew that since Harry died Hermione hadn’t spoken to
anyone. She barely ate or slept and was hardly seen. A hug wouldn’t make things better for her.

Still, Lavender clung tightly to Hermione. No arms wrapped up around her. No head was rested on
her shoulder. She was silent, and the tears did not come.

When Lavender finally pulled herself away from Hermione she could see that her eyes were still
fixed to the coffin. Lavender’s own eyes followed.

Nothing prepares you for the way a dead person looks; a waxy imposter of someone you once loved.
Lying in the ornate coffin was Harry Potter. He was dressed in all black. His hair was neatly
combed, something it never was in real life, and parted at the side. His scar was in full view,
sharper than she had ever seen it, and Lavender briefly wondered if someone had outlined it. It
would make sense, she thought morbidly, to many people that’s what he was.

His vibrant green eyes were shut, never to open again. His face held little expression. No
worried glance that he so often had in Potions, no wide smile that graced his face during
quidditch. His hands were laid on top of one another, and his wand lay in between.

He looked waxy, unreal. Even to Lavender, who hadn’t known Harry that well, he didn’t look at
all like himself. His dignified hair and blank expression was not him. It hurt her to look at him
this way. She couldn’t imagine what it was like for the others.

Hermione was still staring at Harry. She hardly blinked. Lavender was about to say “I’m sorry”
again, but thought better of it and made her way to an open seat.

She sat down next to Neville who looked as though he were about to cry. “Don’t take it
personally” he said shakily. Lavender furrowed her brow in confusion. “Hermione.” He clarified.
“She’s been that way with everyone. Won’t acknowledge them. Won’t talk. She hasn’t stopped looking
at him, at Harry - ”

His voice broke as tears began to pour down his face. “We tried so hard.” He wiped at his eyes.
“We won. But it was all because of him and now he’s gone. It’s not right.” He shook his head, back
and forth. “Its’ not right.”

Lavender pulled Neville close to her, her arms wrapping around him. “You know, Neville, I never
told you this, but I think that you’re one of the bravest people I know.”

Neville lifted himself off from her shoulder. Genuine shock was in his eyes. Lavender couldn’t
blame him; it wasn’t often that she dished out compliments. She was ashamed to say that in her
early years at Hogwarts she was somewhat of a bitch.

“Really. You stood up to Snape all year, you kept hope alive. You were amazing in the fight.
Harry trusted you.” Neville began to shake his head again. “No, listen to me. He did. He really
believed in you, and for good reasons. You’re a true friend. A true Gryffindor.”

Neville smiled weakly. “That’s all I’ve ever wanted to be.” Lavender hugged him again.

“You are.”

From her embrace with Neville, Lavender watched as the final mourners made their way to their
seats. One by one each of the Weasleys passed Harry’s coffin. Ginny stared down and started crying
even more. Her mother pulled her close and together they shakily made their way to their seats. Ron
reached out and put an arm around Hermione, trying to lead her to her seat. Hermione yanked away
quickly. Ron shrunk back, away from her. He passed by Harry and joined his family.

Hermione was left standing alone next to Harry. For a moment Lavender wondered if she was going
to stay up there throughout the service. But Hermione turned slowly and walked to the head of the
coffin. She bent down, her face disappearing from view. Seconds later she righted herself and took
a seat near the Weasleys in the front row but off to itself, not next to another soul.

Neville sat up straight in his chair and wove his fingers through Lavender’s. He gave her hand a
tight squeeze.

The entire hall grew silent. A man who Lavender did not recognize made his way up the aisle. He
was official looking and sober. He spread a few pieces of parchment on the podium and began to
speak in a deep monotone.

“Today we have come together to honor the life of Harry James Potter. He gave himself for the
wellbeing of all the wizarding world.” The man stopped, allowing this statement to sink in.

“Harry was kind boy. Smart, gifted, and brave. He always thought of others before himself. He
wanted nothing more than for his world to be safe.” The man continued on with all the wonderful
qualities of Harry.

Looking around, Lavender saw that most of the room was crying. Great sobs rang out from the
front row where the Weasleys were sitting. Handkerchiefs were passed around and noses sniffled.

While at one point Lavender had been a very emotional person, crying for days over a deceased
pet, only silent tears graced her face now. The tears were not caused by the banal words of the
eulogizer. He was articulate and practiced, each word ringing out loud and clear, but he didn’t
know Harry.

She cried not for the words describing Harry, but for Harry himself. She cried for Parvati, and
Hannah, and Dean. She cried for Fred and Professor Lupin. She cried for those left behind. She
cried for Neville and Ron. She cried for Hermione. She cried for herself.

The man continued on, relaying the story of Harry’s life, or what he knew of it. He spoke of his
bond with Dumbledore, another great soul that was lost in the war. He touched on his brief
unpopularity and how Harry stuck through it all.

He concluded with his own thanks to Harry. “We are all in debt to Harry Potter. He saved us
all.”

The service was over. People began to shift in their seats, gathering their belongings and
heading towards the exits. The eulogizer had commented that Harry’s body was going to be laid to
rest at Godric’s Hollow with his parents later in the day, but for now the casket remained where it
was.

People filed out the heavy double doors, eyes still streaming and holding on to one another.
Beside her, Neville stood up. He offered Lavender his hand. She took it and pulled herself
upright.

“I would like it if we could keep in touch.” Neville said, his voice still thick with tears. He
coughed and tried to adopt a more confident voice. “Maybe dinner sometime.”

Lavender smiled. “I’d like that.”

Neville grinned slightly, lightening his tear streaked face. “I’ll owl you this week then.” He
hugged her and turned to leave.

The Great Hall was emptying quickly. Glancing around, Lavender could see Ron and Ginny still
sitting together in the front row. His arm was around her shoulder. She looked down the row,
expecting to see Hermione there. She wasn’t.

She scanned the room. Hermione was no where to be seen. Seeing no reason to stay in the Hall any
longer, especially with the body of one of her classmates only feet away, Lavender made her way out
of the castle.

For some reason Lavender suddenly had a desire to walk down to the lake. She didn’t know if it
was the memories from the days before pulling her or what, but Lavender always trusted her
instincts.

The grounds of Hogwarts that were blood stained only days before were now shimmering in the
summer sun. The grass was green and lush, the sky was blue and there wasn’t a cloud to be
found.

She made her way towards the lake. She was nearly there when she noticed the figure of someone
standing off to the side of the lake. Walking closer, Lavender could see that it was Hermione
Granger.

She was standing still and straight. Her head was raised, her chin pointing upwards and her eyes
were closed.

Lavender hesitated going any closer, but she knew that it was for this reason that she had felt
compelled to come down to the lake. She approached Hermione carefully, not wanting to startle
her.

“Hermione.” Lavender tried to make her voice as soft and gentle as she could. Hermione turned
towards her. Unlike all of the others who left Harry’s memorial, Hermione’s face was dry.

Lavender waited for Hermione to say something. Hermione turned back to face the lake, but
Lavender did not leave. Lavender was a firm believer in signs and gut feelings. Her gut told her to
stay with Hermione. Be there for here. Lavender didn’t move. She stood slightly behind Hermione,
staring out into the lake.

The water was smooth and placid. It was a deep blue color and soothed her. Lavender began to get
lost in her own thoughts. The last time she was down here she had seen her best friend
murdered.

She had fought for her own life. She had seen countless friends, classmates, teachers fight and
fall. The surroundings may be different from that day, almost as peaceful now as that day had been
chaotic, but this place still held the memories that Lavender did not wish to relive.

Lavender sat down but kept her gaze on the water. She wondered if it was symbolic that she
couldn’t tear her eyes from the water. She tried to remember what Professor Trelawney had said
about water imagery. It worked both ways, she remembered that much. Destructive and nurturing.

Right now, Lavender couldn’t decide if she wanted the water to swallow her up or not. At times,
it already felt to her as if she were drowning. Every space filled with too much emotion to stand
it. Other times, her future loomed ahead of her just like the lake. Big, vast, and seemingly
empty.

She had always thought life would work out in the end. Lavender was never one to think that she
wouldn’t get everything she wanted, and deserved. Now, her life never seemed so uncertain.

Her thoughts were suddenly pulled back down to earth as she heard Hermione speak. “You know when
you have a dream.” She began. “If it’s a good dream, or a bad dream it doesn’t really matter.”

Hermione’s voice was hoarse from little use. “When you wake up, you remember it and it all seems
so real. But after awhile it slips away from you. All you’re left with is fragments, and that’s
only if you try hard enough to remember. You’re left with so little.”

Lavender didn’t quite follow, but now that Hermione had finally begun to talk she wasn’t going
to interrupt her with questions.

“Sometimes I’m afraid that’s what will happen to me.” Hermione turned to face Lavender. “I’m
afraid that I’ll lose him.” She bit her lip. “I’ve already lost him.”

Lavender made a move to comfort Hermione but she backed up slightly. “I need his memory. I need
to remember the times I had with him and not think that it wasn’t real.”

Hermione sat down next to Lavender. She slid to the ground ungracefully and teetered as she
lowered herself. The thin chain that was ducked in her dress slipped out, displaying itself for her
to see.

On the end of the gold chain was a ring. It was simple and elegant. It was an engagement ring.
Lavender’s heart ached. She had always suspected, so many of them had.

Even in the early years of Hogwarts everyone had said that Harry and Hermione were meant to be.
‘It’s all in their glances’, people would say. ‘She would do anything for him’. ‘She’s the only one
he trusts completely.’

Lavender had witnessed countless examples that led people to say such things. Casual hugs or
touches. Hushed and intimate conversations. Those looks. Never had Lavender ever seen two people
who could communicate so much through just a simple glance.

During their brief relationship Ron often talked about Hermione. True, this was because he
always had a little crush on her, something that bugged Lavender to no end, but most of the
conversations about Hermione also included Harry. ‘Sometimes I feel like I hold them back’ Ron
would confide in her. ‘I think that there may be something going on between them’ he would say, but
then would quickly rebuke the thought.

And now it seemed that they were right all along. The ring sparkled in the sun, the ultimate
proof.

There was no doubt in Lavender’s mind that that ring was given to Hermione from Harry. They had
been off alone together for countless months, they had always been close. Lavender had known that
love was never far behind them.

Lavender stared at the ring, admiring its beauty. Hermione noticed Lavender’s stare.

“We never told anyone.” Her voice came out barely above a whisper. “We were planning to, after
it was all over, but then he…” she trailed off, leaving the worst part unspoken. It had been said
enough today.

Lavender raised her eyes to peer into Hermione’s own cinnamon brown. “Tell me.”

Hermione nodded. Lavender knew that it would be hard for Hermione, but she also knew that it was
necessary. Hermione needed to get this off her chest. She needed to tell someone. She could only
stay silent for so long.

Lavender Brown had known Hermione Granger for seven years. They weren’t best friends. She wasn’t
part of the infamous trio; there wasn’t a trio anymore. Lavender could think of a hundred people
that would be better at this than her, but at that moment, she was all Hermione had. In fact, it
would probably be easier for Hermione to tell someone who wasn’t one of her good friends. In a way
it seemed to make everything less personal.

After her initial beginnings, Hermione once again grew silent. Lavender tried to coax her along.
“I lost my best friend, too.”

She wasn’t trying to make Hermione’s loss to seem less, or switch the attention to herself as
she so often did in the past. No, Lavender just wanted her to know that she could understand in
some way.

“I’m sorry.” Hermione said. Though Lavender had been saying the same words to so many all day,
it was only when Hermione said it to her that it sounded sincere. “I didn’t know. After Harry -
”

Lavender cut in. “No, don’t feel bad about it. I mean, Harry was - ” Lavender tried to find a
word to sum up all that he was. She could use any of the number of things that the eulogizer had
thrown out, but somehow it all seemed lacking.

“Harry was so much more than my best friend. He was more than all of that. Harry was beyond it
all.” Hermione said.

Lavender was quiet, letting Hermione get it all out.

Hermione sighed, “When I first met Harry it was a disaster. It was on the train. I knew before I
went in his compartment that he was in there, who he was. I wanted him to like me. I was bossy and
I tried so hard to seem mature. He was just so lost looking. So innocent. It was amazing to me that
someone so famous could be so untainted.”

“I wasn’t that popular in my old school, before Hogwarts” Hermione bit her lip, “I guess that’s
not that hard to imagine.”

Lavender shook her head. “You’ve had better friends than most.”

She nodded. “That’s true. The whole turning point in my life was Halloween 1st year.
That’s when we became friends, Harry, Ron and I.”

Hermione’s eyes began to gaze past Lavender’s, getting lost in her thoughts. “I suppose that
I’ve always loved Harry in some way. Since the first day I felt for him, wanted to be there for
him. Then I loved him like a friend. I supported them, I thought about him all the time. Before I
knew it, I loved him. Really loved him.”

“The end of 4th year. That’s when I knew for sure.” Her lips twitched into a small
smile.

“Didn’t you date Viktor Krum then?” Lavender asked. She clearly remembered her own astonishment
of Hermione Granger landing a professional quidditch hunk. An older man at that.

Surprisingly, Hermione laughed. Lavender, who hadn’t heard any kind of laughter in so long was
slightly taken aback. “Viktor and I were never anything serious. We were hardly friends. Besides,
he was always jealous of Harry. It was thanks to Viktor that I discovered my feelings. One day he
sat me down and asked me point blank how long Harry and I had been secretly dating. I was so
shocked by the question. I told him how ridiculous he sounded.”

“But then he told me about how often I talked about Harry. How I would always find a way to
touch him, to be close to him. How I thought of him before anyone else, even myself. It was then
that I knew.”

Something suddenly popped into Lavender’s mind. An image of the train station at the end of
4th year. “I remember!” She exclaimed. “You kissed him then, at the end of
4th year!”

“On the cheek, that hardly counts. Though I was quite proud of myself.”

“Parvati and I spent a good deal of time analyzing that just so you know.” Lavender amusedly
shook her head.

Hermione raised her eyebrows. “Oh really, and what conclusion did you reach?”

“We couldn’t have been more wrong. We decided that you gave Harry the kiss of death. Put him
permanently in the friend zone.” Lavender huffed. “Apparently not.”

“I was trying to get out of the friend zone!” Hermione laughed. “And that little kiss just made
my feelings stronger. It became harder and harder to hide them. I even tried to direct them
elsewhere. I could never picture Harry loving me back, and I didn’t want to ruin our
friendship.”

Lavender nodded. “Ron?” She asked, assuming that was where Hermione was going. “Was that what
6th year was all about? You trying to move on?”

“I’m genuinely sorry about that.” Hermione said sincerely. “It was unfair to you; you actually
had real feelings for him. I just wanted someone to help me get over Harry.”

Lavender shook her head. “We wouldn’t have lasted. Ron didn’t really like me. He just wanted a
girlfriend. I was convenient.”

“Don’t think so low of yourself, Lavender. You’re a great person. Ron’s just immature and
selfish.”

“Really, Hermione. Isn’t that a little harsh?”

Hermione pressed her lips into a thin line, something that Lavender associated more with
Professor McGonagall. “Maybe. I’m not too happy with Ron right now.”

“Why? He’s your best friend!”

She shook her head sadly. “I don’t have any best friends anymore. Harry died and Ron left us
when we needed him most.” Hermione cleared her throat. “It doesn’t matter now though. It’s
over.”

“Things will get better.” Lavender put her hand lightly on Hermione’s shoulder. How things would
get better she didn’t know. They couldn’t possibly get worse, the worst was over now. She didn’t
know what to say to Hermione to make everything bright and happy.

“Losing Harry was the hardest thing that ever happened to me.” Lavender could now see that
Hermione’s eyes were misting, moisture building up and threatening to spill out. “He was everything
to me.”

“Oh, Hermione. I know it’s hard, but there’s so much you have left. You’re Hermione Granger for
Merlin’s sake. Top of the class! Brightest witch of her age! You really don’t know how often I
envied your intelligence. I know that we weren’t always friends, but I always respected you and
looked up to you. You were so many things that I wasn’t. You were always so loyal, so brave.”

Hermione was silent, her tears flowing noiselessly. Lavender wondered if maybe she had taken a
wrong approach. In her experience flattery was always the best solution. Everyone loved hearing
good things about themselves.

Lavender was just pondering what she should do next when Hermione spoke once more. “When Ron
left I thought it was a sign. I know, how ironic. Hermione Granger believing in signs.” She
pondered. “I think that you would know what I’m talking about though, the feeling that something
happened for a reason.”

Lavender nodded, pushing Hermione on. She knew that Ron had left Harry and Hermione with
whatever they were doing. Lavender wasn’t one to listen too hard to the details. She could recall
Ron showing up at Hogwarts one day without them. He never gave anyone an explanation, but everyone
knew that Harry and Hermione were still out there, working for a better future, fighting. When Ron
came back he wasn’t accepted with open arms or even with a handshake. Though he never said anything
about why he left, they all knew that he did. He left his best friends behind. He left Harry
Potter.

“Ron had always been a buffer. With him around it kept Harry and me in place. When he left he
said that I was choosing Harry.” She wryly smiled through her tears. “It wasn’t that really, I just
wasn’t choosing him. I must admit that Harry was part of the reason I stayed. I would never leave
him, no matter what.”

“When Ron left the barriers were gone. I knew that our relationship couldn’t continue to stay
where it was. For years Harry and I were in the in-between zone. We were more than friends, but we
weren’t quite *there* yet. I didn’t even know if he wanted to be.”

“I know that those months would either make us or break us. Not apart of course, nothing could
make me leave Harry. But I knew that it was a possibility that Harry and I would only be friends
and nothing more forever. With Ron gone I was expecting this to happen, for it all to come out. I
was scared. I didn’t want to lose my best friend, or my secret hopes that he might one day be
more.”

Lavender was listening intently. Obviously she knew which way the story would go, but the
emotion that Hermione’s voice betrayed allowed Lavender to see how much Hermione had been through.
Lavender didn’t know if she could have been in Hermione’s situation. Not including the actual
months in a tent and fighting for your life which Lavender definitely knew she couldn’t do. She was
more of a hotel kind of girl. But to be with someone you loved so much for so long, to hope for the
best but willing to settle for the worst; Lavender couldn’t help but admire Hermione’s
strength.

“How did it happen?” Lavender asked. “How did you and Harry get together?” She knew it sounded
lame; something often used in “Witch Weekly” interviews with famous couples, but Lavender never had
a way with words like Hermione.

Hermione took in a deep breath and wiped the lingering tears from her face. “For awhile it was
the same as before. A little tense, but mostly the same. I was upset at Ron for leaving, and Harry
shut himself away. But we didn’t have time to be selfish; we had to keep looking. It all changed
after we visited Harry’s parent’s graves. I always knew that Harry relied on me for many things.
Homework, class notes he missed, spells, but that day was the first time I could clearly see that
he needed me. I didn’t know if that was anything more than that, but it was enough. After that I
told him.”

“What did you say? What did he say?” Lavender interjected. It was almost as if nothing had
changed, like she was back in her Hogwarts dorm once again gossiping about boys and relationships.
True, she never did that with Hermione, but still, it was comforting in a strange way.

Hermione laughed. “I told him that I loved him, that I always loved him and no matter what
happened I would continue to love him. I said that we’ve been friends for seven years and that
despite all the bad things that happened, all the danger and hardships, they were the best years of
my life because I was with him.”

She paused. A long pause. Lavender cleared her throat expectantly. Hermione laughed. “Come on!
Continue. What did he say back?”

“Nothing.”

“Nothing?” Lavender furrowed her brow. “He didn’t say anything?”

“Not at first. Harry wasn’t the world’s most eloquent guy.” She bit her lip, restraining further
laughter. “He kind of stared at me for a while. At the time I was terrified, but looking back it’s
rather funny. His mouth was formed in a perfect ‘O’ and his eyes were wide as can be. Finally I
couldn’t stand the silence any longer so I got up and started to leave.” Hermione smiled lightly to
herself, her eyes softening with the memories. “That’s when he moved. He darted in front of me.
He’s quite fast you know, quidditch and all that. He was all broken words and confused sentences.
But I understood it all. I could always read him, even when he was bumbling like a fool. He told me
that I was the most important person in his life. I was his rock, his reason to go on.” Hermione
broke off. “He told me he loved me too.”

Lavender smiled. She could see how they were perfect for one another. The give and take. They
were soul mates.

“We spent the rest of the night talking. I told him how I loved him for so long and how I tried
to hide it. It seemed that we had more in common than even we thought. He said he did the same
thing. We talked about Ron and how I could never make myself feel for him like I did for Harry. We
talked about Ginny and his quest for normalcy.”

“That night changed everything. It wasn’t just the physical part of our relationship that
changed.” Hermione blushed at this. “It was everything. We were fully there for one another. We
could talk about anything, share our secrets and voice our fears.”

“I had always known Harry well, but now I knew him completely.” Hermione’s voice grew thick with
emotion and once again her eyes started to cloud up with water. “He was truly the most amazing
person. He was so brave. No one knows how scared he was. No one knows how many nights he would
cling to me in his sleep, fighting off Voldemort. Even in his dreams he couldn’t escape him.”

“Today at the funeral, what the eulogizer said, he didn’t even know. Of course he was right,
Harry was kind and funny and brave and smart and all those other things he rattled off. But he was
so much more. So much that no one else saw. He wasn’t the perfect martyr that he’s painted as now.
He was irrational and jealous and rash, but it made him Harry. And Harry is who I loved. Who I will
always love.”

Lavender reached out and hugged Hermione. She stiffened, but eventually gave in, molding into
Lavender, weeping on her shoulder. Lavender patted her back lightly. Hermione pulled back and the
ring once again caught the sun’s rays, slightly dazzling Lavender.

She pointed at the ring. “When?”

Hermione wiped her face, “Two weeks ago.” She sniffled slightly. “We were so happy. We were
scared and hungry and had so much ahead of us, but we were happy. We had each other and that was
all that mattered.”

She took the ring in her hand. “No one knows, of course. Except you now.” She fiddled with it,
making the light reflect off its edges. “I can’t wear it on my finger, everyone would see.”
Hermione shook her head. “I don’t want sympathy for that. My relationship with Harry is private. If
things were different I would like nothing more than to tell everyone, but he’s gone.”

“Still, I can’t not wear it. It means that it was all real, it reminds me that he did love
me.”

Lavender nodded. “I know he did.”

Hermione raised her eyes to Lavender’s and quirked her eyebrow questioningly.

“It was so obvious. You were made for each other.”

Hermione tucked the ring back into her dress, close to her heart. “Yes, we were.”

Lavender got up, brushing the grass off her robes. “I need to be getting on now. A couple of
Hogwarts people are meeting up in Hogsmeade. Do you want to come?” She asked as she extended her
hand out for Hermione.

Hermione lifted herself up with help of Lavender. She shook her head. “That’s alright. I think
I’m kind of done with all that.”

“What do you mean? ‘All that.’”

“Just the crowd. Hogsmeade. All of it, I guess.” She sighed. “Anyways, I have to go to Australia
to visit my parents. Though I appreciate it, Lavender. All of it.”

Hermione smiled at Lavender. Lavender didn’t think that she could recall a time that she and
Hermione had such a long conversation, or one as meaningful. “Take care, Hermione.” Lavender hugged
her. “I’m always available if you want to talk. I think that Neville and I are going out to dinner
next week, you could always come along.”

“I don’t think so, but thanks.” Hermione turned and began to walk away, up the steep hill that
led out of Hogwarts. “Tell Neville bye for me though. I didn’t get to tell him myself. Tell him
I’ll try to keep in touch. With you too.”

“Yeah, I’ll see you around.” Lavender said.

Hermione bit her lip and looked away. “Goodbye.”

Lavender watched as Hermione’s outline grew smaller and smaller until she couldn’t see her
anymore.

A couple months later Lavender received a letter from Hermione. It wasn’t sent by owl, but
instead was mailed. Thankfully Lavender had a normal mailing address. She liked to read muggle
Cosmo. It was short and was the first bit of news that Lavender had heard about Hermione in months.
No one had seen her since the memorial.

Lavender –

If you need to reach me use muggle post. Keep in touch. Please don’t tell anyone you heard from
me.

-Hermione

An address was included. An American address. Later, Lavender told Neville about it. Though
Hermione told her not to, she was never really that good at keeping secrets. Telling only one
person was really a giant leap forward.

“I got one too.” He said. “She’s really left.” Lavender knew that he meant the wizarding
world.

“Why?”

Neville shook his head sadly. “I don’t think that she knows how to be in it without him.”

“Maybe it’s better this way. She can move on, get over him.” Lavender said.

“Maybe.”



